Granted, it is not easy

Get a letter, end July,  saying that the grant money has been transferred to DU. So I ask around, what do I need to do next? Oh nothing, just start spending the money and start submitting bills. That easy? Hmm. So we submit some bills to the finance section…

NOT. Get this, get that, get signatures from the Registrar, the Research Council, the VC, the Finance Officer, the FM, the PM, the man down the street. Ok. I exaggerate. Just a bit. Finally, a month or so later, we learn the the registrar has signed said document, so we should be able to start splurging, right?

NOT. Submit bills to finance. Get the UTR number, they say. HUH? Wazzat? Someone tells me that this is the magic number that every grant is associated with, so as to identify it. Hmm. Is there is some sort of registry point? Who needs to register? Where? How? No answers. So, as my Amma would say, ask Google. Unique Transaction Reference number. Aha. Has to do with a bank transaction. But that means the DU finance office must have it. Why, how and from where should I dig it out? And, why can’t they do it themselves? (stupid question #274585)

As it happens, I have to go to the UGC today for something else entirely, so decide to enquire about this magical number. Get there by metro + auto (not realizing the ITO metro station right next to UGC is open), and arrive there 15 minutes early. Here goes.

The person at the reception desk is very helpful, calls someone, asks about where grant-related enquiries should go, asks for my area, Botany, room 321, he directs. Decide to take the stairs. Find room 321. Knock. Go in. Explain. The man at the desk nods knowingly and then says, yahaan se siraf award letter jaata hai, uske baad kaa aapko room 318 mein poochhna hoga. Do you have the award letter, he asks? Naturally I did not think to bring it. He shakes his head but says that, anyway, I should enquire in room 318, but really, you should have that letter with you.

Somewhat deflated, I look for room 318. Should be simple, I think,  and it is, I think, three doors back the way I came. Knock, open door. Door nearly hits chair (empty) next to a desk (empty) and someone at the desk further down gestures to me to enter through a different door leading into the room. So I come out and go further down to that door, which says 317. Well, they told me to, didn’t they? I knock on the door, open it, look in and enter to talk to the person sitting at the desk right at the entrance.

Patiently he listens to my story and then at the end of it says, sorryji, aap galat room mein aa gaye. But, but, but Mr 321 (who sounded like he knew all about it) TOLD me to come to 318! Haanji, lekin yeh 317 hai. My head starts spinning. I entered 318 and you told me to enter via door 317! He smiles kindly and says, yes, well, it is a bit confusing — rooms 317 and 318 were merged and the department you want is in room 318, which is the room next to the old 318 — you must use the door NEXT to the door numbered 318 to enter 318. Makes perfect sense, I guess, I am flummoxed, it is nearly 11 am, but I decide to make one last try. 

So knock knock on the mysterious door, numberless-but-in-fact-number-318, feeling very Harry Potter-ish. Open door into a narrow room with two desks and two women sitting at said desks. I tell my tale all over again to the nearest one. She nods and says, aapko yahan kisne bhejaa? So I tell her the story of my journey, 321 to 318 to 317 to ?318? and she first asks, award letter hai kya? Ruefully I shake my head. Phir bhi aapko room 303 mein jaana hoga. But, but, but, I protest, getting just a bit agitated, Mr 321 purveyor of the original letter himself told me to come to 318 (after all, this IS 318 even if is invisibly so)! Haanji, she nods, lekin procedure hotaa hai, 321 se yahin aataa hai; uske baad ham 303 mein bhej dete hain. Naturally. I have to follow said document to 303. I nod, decide that I am already late for my meeting, so go back to the first floor.

….

After several cups of tea, biscuits, lunch, more tea, and looking at applications in-between, I am done by about 3:30 pm, and trot back to the third floor. I look for 303, knock, open the door, and peer into a roomful of desks and people.

I announce that I am from DU and that I want to talk to a man about a grant. All eyes gesture me toward the person sitting more or less in the centre, he invites me to sit down in his visitor’s chair, and I tell my tale all over again. He nods through my story and then goes on to explain that the UTR number is transmitted by the bank to both UGC and the University once the money has been transferred and yes, DU should have it. He asks, do you have the award letter? Regretting it all, I again mournfully shake my head. He says, if you had brought it with you it would have been no problem at all–you would just go to room 307 and they would get it for you in a jiffy. He must have seen me having visions of dropping into one room after another because he quickly added, if you can get information about the date and amount transferred I can get it for you.

Clutching to this rope I call my student, explain to him what was up, ask him to look for the letter (luckily I no longer try to keep records of anything with me–my wonderful students do that), he efficiently finds it, gives me the necessary information, and, hey presto! thanks to Mr Wonderful of room 303, I am now in proud possession of the UTR number, which is going to open up all kinds of wonders.

The big question, of course is: should I take khundak with the powers that be at DU? You know, a gentle suggestion that the finance section might think of getting the number directly from the registrar’s office, maybe? or maybe from the bank? Is that too revolutionary?